The Continuing Desert Adventures of a Daughter of Poseidon

Two Saturdays ago Krystl accompanied me on my triumphant return to Nick*Star Karaoke at Deemo's in Phoenix. It was a Humpty Dancin' good time. Great food and booze, classic drunken songs, and tons of great new people.

Tuesday brought the comedic slayings of one Mike Birbiglia at the Tempe Improv with Jodi, Ryan and Debbie. Dave & Stacey, Bethany, and Andy & Mandy…awww…happened to snag a front row table. Mike's set was a great combo of what I consider some of his classic stuff plus a bunch of new material. And it was game on when he discovered the Clan Gould up front were also from Boston. The two drink min was a pain in the ass, as I wasn't expecting LA prices, but damn I wanted a Strawberry Daquiri. I hung around after the show to shake Mike's hand and tell him I knew his roommate Daniel from his college days at Georgetown. He said he liked my starfish necklace. We had a moment.

Wednesday night Jodi mixed up some fanfuckingtastic burgers that Jason grilled up while Mel, Andy Jenson and I supervised. It was an undertaking but I think we did the job justice.

Thursday brought us Krystl's first art reception at Scottsdale Community College. She had one of her awesome collages picked to be shown and was awarded an Honorable Mention and a sweetass $50 gift certificate. So rad. She better get some pictures of these badboys up right quick. This was followed by a viewing of Iron Man at the Cine Capri with Mel, Krystl, Joel, Fax, and Maggie. It was a great movie and we were hysterically obnoxious during the previews. At least I was. Ha.

Friday Miss Toni and I took in a showing of As You Like It at the Desert Rose Theatre in Mesa. Shakespeare is simply boring. There, I said it. Christ. There were some stellar performances by select cast members and the second half was far more lively than the first. I have a special place in my heart for tiny theatre companies with little to no money who pull spaces and costumes and sets out of thin air. And this current home was a far cry from the stripmall box they once inhabited. Here's to good luck in finding a new space! Same goes to Stray Cat Theatre who are, once again, stray cats. Let's go back to the old theater. Who needs electrical?! Toni and I then set up shop at Starbucks on Mill and discussed men, life, religion, art, theatre, health…you know, the light stuff, and lamented the queerness of the cute emo boy behind the counter. Toni then may or may not have had her car towed and may or may not have had to dip into her NYC savings to get it out. But I ain't one to gossip so you ain't heard that from me.

Saturday I met Fax at Kate and Blake's son's 2nd birthday party in North Scottsdale. I haven't seen them in almost two years. I was surprised to see Ivan there, but then learned that the night before there had been a full blown Elliots reunion at a corporate event. What I wouldn't have given to be there for that. I miss the hell out of that band. It was so good to talk with them all and to meet little Blake 2, and Ivan's daughter Willa Rose. Now there's a darling little couple in the making. It's amazing the paths our lives take us on. Kate, Blake and Ivan were in a band called The Elliots. They were an incredible band and we followed them all over Arizona. The band broke up and Ivan went solo while Kate and Blake remained a duo. Ivan got married and became a dad and before we knew it Kate and Blake were knocked up and married. To each other. They moved off to Nashville and rock the east coast and Ivan still plays locally. Friday night they all reunited after at least 4 years. Old wounds healed with the magic salve of music and love. I miss all those bastards. Thank you for the music. Keep rockin' it.

I then moved on down to Dave & Buster's to help Ryan ring in his birthday. Shot and Bloody Mary's and fun not seen since Vegas. It's like a Chuck E. Cheese for adults and Debbie is a whiz at these games. I'll let Ryan describe the evening for you in the form of one of his famous drunken rambles from his message board:

wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo im fivckin drunn,k!!! thank you to nikik and devbbie for making theis it ghe grastaest birtshday! ever!!

seriolusyy! thsi was awesome . ti t waws just the three f su aat dave nu busters and we had a swell time! we woj over 10,000 poiunts on our carsds. We got a xsweetr adss poker set and a vcoin sorter!. I tw as awesome. Devbiibr and i acould fcujkin looose! we kept hitting javckopot after javckopot! I love this pbirthaday! Michele still holds the red[code]ord for the vbestr brithday hparty but this was the grweatseast birthday overall better!

we started wit h libnch at Red Robin, which is the clostest thing to bob's big boy we can get without being in california. the n we wetn to swee iron man which was totallyh badf asstical. the we came home and chiolled for a little whil and went to dave n busters. fgood times. I hafd liotrs of rum n cokes and a few shot of jac k and played lots fo games. I won the diup truck thing dfopr sa shitload of tivkets and then played different games and then debbie plaeyhd the diumptruck game with niki and they won an assload more tiuckets while I played some other dhiit i don ;t even know. OPh yeah. Debbie played some hautned house gaem and she won 15oo tickets off that. anyway we won a lot of stuff! It was radical. you mother fisklckers should have hcome out and played with us we didnt'g et get picturess. whate we dd get was sweet ass poker chips and a coin sorter. jealous? fcccu k yead yhou are. I drank olalot. opps. I dfcu cked that up abbut then ai ficxed tit. . I don't even known. good tiome.s . I love ou all. i love you debbie gfof r majkking theis a radaSS bithday and taking me to dave n busteres and the movie and liunch and stuff and I love you niki for being rad too. ther rest of you bmuther fukers sons of bitches tath didn t show up can kiss m balls. jdub vcan be first in line cuz I nkow he likes the cock.

anyhwhiooa.y. thanks everybodyh for the wells wweisheds and the happyh vbirthdays. You're all rad. but not as rad as me. im radder athan all of yhouul.

i totalyh copy and pasrtted this fromn the other board. I don';t know if you knew rthat or not. but i did. love you fickers. thak you all for coming here and supporteinng this board. for all i know, you all hcould think im just some big assjholle and not gave a fuck. but instead yhou come fhere day after day and that rellaly meqans a lot to me. thank you all. I m a better man for knowing you and I'm a better man for having you all as myh friends. there's nothing I wouldn't do for youl. and the fact that you come here aeveryday means the world to me. thank you brothers and sister. when i finally rule the world you r;'e all on m cool list. II;d' toatoolay bury some priock in the fuclking desert for you.

I love yhou , degbbie. thank you baby for making this tha besst birthday ever.

Slim rocksl. he drew me titties.

Can you handle that?

Sunday brought the great move of Jodi into her own place. Jason, Jodi, Krystl, Jeremy and I managed to pack everything into the U-haul in about an hour and then unloaded it, upstairs, in less. We are a lean and highly toned moving machine. Hugeass pizza, comraderie and our usual wacky banter was our just reward. It was all one hell of a workout. This brings us to my official move in as I took over Jodi's lease here with Mel. Despite everything I own being back home in California, I have clothes hanging in the closet and goodies in the shower. I spent one last night with the fuzzy kitty faces of Danzel and Sydney and still, when I walk in the door, expect to see them both. Taunting each other. Or being unbearably cute. I miss my fish. I'm comin' for you, FeeshMoch!

The job hunt continues and may wrap up nicely by the end of this week. Big weebles out there for me, my friends. Let's get this girl a job! And I believe it was about a year ago today that I had my strabismus surgery. (Eyeball muscle cutting & retying surgery) Wow. An entire year. I saw Doc Graham before I left town and he said my vision was beyond perfect and was incredibly impressed with the precision of the adjustment Doc Deemer did at UCLA. There's not enough info on my rad disease for anyone to know how or when I'll ever need to have either of my surgeries again so I'll do my best to not worry about any little imperfection I come across. Like waking up this morning with my eyelid red and purple, swollen and hurting. I took some Aleve and rocked the frozen pea eye patch, but it's still swollen and tight. It makes me worry about the sling in my eyelid, and it's been a bit hard to not freak out and feel squeamish. Allergies? Did a kitty give me the smack down last night? Was it all the exercise from moving? I cried yesterday but I've cried since my surgery and not had this problem. Get Scoob and the gang in on this one.

Stay tuned for more adventures from Hotter Than the Hinges of Hades central!