Dig, if you will, a picture

Upon discussing his exclusive male modeling prospects with my burgeoning scarf empire Local H beguiled me with his vision for our future...

"Simple modeling ain't gonna make us Fortune 500. You know what will? That's right, a super sweet commercial on cable access television. Let me lay this on ya...

We fade in on me in an upscale European looking bar, except that we're low budget so it's probably not gonna look like the good Europe, but we'll settle for nothing less than Bulgarian looking, this much I promise you.

All right, so I'm working my craft on these uppity Bulgarian broads, but I'm gettin' no play whatsoever, when suddenly I see in the corner of the bar a super foxy snake charmer. She lures me in with her piccolo (recorder?) and lo and behold what pops out of her wicker basket? Not a snake, but a fabulous KitaBan scarf!

So I wrap myself in awesomeness and suddenly the Bulgarians think I'm the second coming of Swayze, but I pay them no mind as I kick open the bar door and hit the streets.

And as the wind catches the scarf and it dances playfully off my shoulder I become the center of attention. I mean, I'm like a black hole covered in super glue, no one can resist my animal magnetism.

But I show my sweet side by stopping next to a downtrodden minority child jumping rope and use my scarf to get the most extreme session of Double Dutch going. But pretty soon my shoulder gets tired and I leave.

And as I round the corner I see the requisite love interest you've been patiently waiting for me to introduce about to board a city bus. I must have her, but she's out of earshot. Well, for your average joe she's gone forever. But for the savvy scarf-dressed man, she's just a lasso throw away. I hook her around the waist and pull her firmly to me. Freeze there as we stare longingly into each other's eyes.

And we finish by having the low budget equivalent of Antonio Banderas whisper, "KitaBan Scarves... Are You Exceptional Yet?"

Oh, and did I mention that everything but the scarf is in black and white? Cause it totally is.

Tell me that shit won't make Scorsese punch an orphan."

Wisdom thrown down from the mountain. Mt. Local H.

Are you exceptional yet?