Inertia.
It can suck you down. It can keep you going. You may have heard it put thusly: an object at rest tends to stay at rest. An object in motion tends to stay in motion.
In case you don't believe in science, it's true.
You get into the habit of getting up and going to work every day. When you lose your job you get into the habit of getting up whenever the hell you feel like it. I apparently find it hard to motivate myself to do many things. It's far easier to stay at rest. There are so many things I can do at rest that I enjoy like reading and writing, watching movies, pondering life. But my ass isn't getting any smaller with the all the answers I may be gleaning from the universe.
Since I no longer find myself employed, and have yet to be blessed with any kind of steady income, it's time to look at the expenses I can cut back on. One of those things is my gym membership. Yes, it's no new story. People sign up for gym memberships and then never use them. I've been using the fact that I pay $30 a month for it to actually go but even that has ceased being a big motivating factor, sadly. The apartment complex I just moved into boasts a sparkling pool and a gym. I have already taken advantage of the sweet, sweet pool action and have already worked on my delicious Greek tan. That's right: I don't get sunburned. I wear an SPF 4 suntan lotion. I am a Greek Goddess. Now I have been burned. One day I spent four hours on the beach. Got a burn. Two summers ago I spent hours at the waterpark with my cousins and no sunscreen at all. Burned. And I believe I came away from cheerleading camp one year with a sunburn on my face. But really, that's it. Envy away.
People think that living in Arizona automatically means you're tan because of the amount of sun we get here. What people forget is that for 6-7 months out of the year it's over 100 degrees outside and ain't nobody gonna lay out in that. We spent a lot of time in the sweet AC of the indoors. So I have to slowly reacclimate myself to the sun. At the moment that's about 20 minutes on each side, or Let's All Go To Bed by The Mother Truckers from top to bottom. I will work my way up to 21st Century Breakdown by Green Day.
This afternoon I threw on my sweet new gym clothes, grabbed my apple green Nano & matching earphones and wandered over to check out the gym. It's a small room with one recumbent bike, two treadmills, two elliptical machines, and one all in one gym. You know what? Works for me. I've only been using the treadmill at the gym as, once again, it's too friggen hot to be roaming around outside. Those months have passed. The east and west walls of the gym are mirrored and the machines face a wall of windows. I didn't realize how much of a difference it makes to walk on the treadmill while looking outside. The time flew by. With the help of American Idiot by Green Day, of course. Far more interesting and entertaining than watching the back of other fat asses heads or sporting events I'm not interested in, or CNN. Christ. Can't we throw a movie on or something?
Another bonus of this small gym is the TV in the corner hooked up to a cable box. I didn't see a remote anywhere but even with my short legs I could probably reach the controls. Slap on the Deadliest Catch marathon and I am good to go, man. And yet another bonus of the space is that I had it all to myself. I could stand there and read the info on the wall about how to use the all in one machine without feeling like a tard or getting stared at or anything of that nature.
I walked over to the gym in less than one minute. It's right there. And it's free. I'm not paying an extra $30 a month for this badboy. The only downside is no access to trainers but really, I don't have the money for that anyway. Given the location and the price I have even less excuse for not getting off my ass and getting over there. I grew up an athlete. I have an athletes body. Muscle memory is on my side. Now I need to get out of my head, stop thinking everything to death and Just Do It.
Bo Jackson knew what the hell he was talking about.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Reflections
I think the cake caught up with me today.
I had cake for breakfast, cake and salad for lunch, and cake and rum for dinner. Two cocktails at the bar tonight while kicking some karaoke in the face. My tum is unhappy. I can't say I'm too surprised.
I had a great conversation with a dear friend of mine this evening. He called to tell me he got on a mainstage Harold team at IO in Hollywood, something he's been working toward for years now. We haven't talked in months so he asked me what was new and was hoping for good news. I realized that I had nothing good to say beyond the fact that I'm not dead. That's a good thing. I'm out of work, broke, painfully single, no longer have the social life I once did, bills are stacking up, no job prospects...really, all I have at the moment is my health, my cat, and a place to live.
We talked about relationships. He had just ended one and we talked about people and expectations and attitudes. He reminded me that people are very perceptive creatures and if you're walking around burdened by the wonky things in your life people are going to pick up on that. That does not exude confidence. And it's something most people don't usually realize they're doing.
I care too much what people think. I take things far too personally. I put all my eggs in one basket. I put too much stress on myself in potential relationships and most auditions; the things that are important to me. He told me you can't care. It doesn't matter what any one person thinks of you. If you lay your heart on the line to someone and they leave you hanging without an answer then to hell with them. So what? No one person is the be all, end all. You can't let that persons actions effect you. You can't let it hang over your head as I am want to do. I can't carry it with me.
He said people are just people. You ex isn't your ex, they're just a person. People can only take from you what you give away. Don't give them your power. It's something I knew I was doing I just didn't realize how. I treat past situations with far more gravity than they warrant. Some may call it being overdramatic, he calls it being passionate. He said I am a passionate lover who just wants to fall in love with someone and love them with everything I have. He's right. I let that stress me out. I become anxious and paranoid and lose my confidence. I let it mean all too much. And I usually don't make men earn it. I'm so eager to have that love and that relationship I have always wanted that I rush through things and don't make them earn it.
Alas, the older I get the more anxious I feel about being single. I don't think I would be as anxious if I was actually going on dates and had interest from interesting men. But I don't. Most of my friends are in relationships, and married and kids and blah blah blah. And I would much rather be single than be in the wrong relationship. It was very comforting for another single person to tell me that it's OK to not be concerned with being single and to just live life and work on yourself and fuck it. It will happen when it happens. It makes all the difference to hear that from someone who is in the same boat as you. From the relationship sect is just comes across as patronizing.
I'm not at my best at the moment. I'm depressed because I'm not doing what I want to with my life and I don't know how to get it. I don't know where I belong or what I should be doing. I don't know where to live. And I don't know how to figure it out. This is probably not a good time to get involved in a relationship.
I have a lot to think about now. How I think about my exes, about the decisions I've made, about my outlook on life, how I approach things, the company I keep, the things I want. I think there's an overhaul in my future. I feel like holing up in my new place and not leaving. Not unlike a caterpillar going into its cocoon. Cliches are cliches for a reason. I knew before I moved that something needed to change. That everything needed to change. It's time to become the person I've always wanted to be. The person I have projected to the world but never really lived up to on the inside. It's time to figure some shit out.
I had cake for breakfast, cake and salad for lunch, and cake and rum for dinner. Two cocktails at the bar tonight while kicking some karaoke in the face. My tum is unhappy. I can't say I'm too surprised.
I had a great conversation with a dear friend of mine this evening. He called to tell me he got on a mainstage Harold team at IO in Hollywood, something he's been working toward for years now. We haven't talked in months so he asked me what was new and was hoping for good news. I realized that I had nothing good to say beyond the fact that I'm not dead. That's a good thing. I'm out of work, broke, painfully single, no longer have the social life I once did, bills are stacking up, no job prospects...really, all I have at the moment is my health, my cat, and a place to live.
We talked about relationships. He had just ended one and we talked about people and expectations and attitudes. He reminded me that people are very perceptive creatures and if you're walking around burdened by the wonky things in your life people are going to pick up on that. That does not exude confidence. And it's something most people don't usually realize they're doing.
I care too much what people think. I take things far too personally. I put all my eggs in one basket. I put too much stress on myself in potential relationships and most auditions; the things that are important to me. He told me you can't care. It doesn't matter what any one person thinks of you. If you lay your heart on the line to someone and they leave you hanging without an answer then to hell with them. So what? No one person is the be all, end all. You can't let that persons actions effect you. You can't let it hang over your head as I am want to do. I can't carry it with me.
He said people are just people. You ex isn't your ex, they're just a person. People can only take from you what you give away. Don't give them your power. It's something I knew I was doing I just didn't realize how. I treat past situations with far more gravity than they warrant. Some may call it being overdramatic, he calls it being passionate. He said I am a passionate lover who just wants to fall in love with someone and love them with everything I have. He's right. I let that stress me out. I become anxious and paranoid and lose my confidence. I let it mean all too much. And I usually don't make men earn it. I'm so eager to have that love and that relationship I have always wanted that I rush through things and don't make them earn it.
Alas, the older I get the more anxious I feel about being single. I don't think I would be as anxious if I was actually going on dates and had interest from interesting men. But I don't. Most of my friends are in relationships, and married and kids and blah blah blah. And I would much rather be single than be in the wrong relationship. It was very comforting for another single person to tell me that it's OK to not be concerned with being single and to just live life and work on yourself and fuck it. It will happen when it happens. It makes all the difference to hear that from someone who is in the same boat as you. From the relationship sect is just comes across as patronizing.
I'm not at my best at the moment. I'm depressed because I'm not doing what I want to with my life and I don't know how to get it. I don't know where I belong or what I should be doing. I don't know where to live. And I don't know how to figure it out. This is probably not a good time to get involved in a relationship.
I have a lot to think about now. How I think about my exes, about the decisions I've made, about my outlook on life, how I approach things, the company I keep, the things I want. I think there's an overhaul in my future. I feel like holing up in my new place and not leaving. Not unlike a caterpillar going into its cocoon. Cliches are cliches for a reason. I knew before I moved that something needed to change. That everything needed to change. It's time to become the person I've always wanted to be. The person I have projected to the world but never really lived up to on the inside. It's time to figure some shit out.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Worth it?
There are auditions tonight and tomorrow for a play this summer called The Curious Savage that will only run for three shows. Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Two months of rehearsal for three shows. I don't know if I like the sound of that. It's frustrating to put in all that work for only three shows. It reminds me of college.
And the theatre is through a church. I have no problem with churches or people who go to them, I just don't want to be preached about converting or joining or any of that jazz. I'm not a religious person and it's not a religious play. I'm just not sure how it all sits with me. I don't know how comfortable I am in churches. I've never spent a lot of time in them and have only ever been to one church service.
I don't know how the whole thing is sitting with me. I ordered the play off Amazon and read it. I like it and there are two or three characters that could be fun to play. It's not like there is a lot of other theatre going on right now as the summer is starting to gear up, companies start gearing down. Mid summer I'll start working on the scripts for the fall theatre season.
It could be fun. I'm out of work right now and it's been a while since I've been on stage. And I may not even get cast. I'm a good actress but I'm not always right for the part. I'm a character actress and enjoy comedies. Drama is not my strong suit or what I really enjoy. These characters are funny and this play is a good one, though a bit dated. This theatre company looks like they do plays from the 50s, which this one is.
Auditioning is always a good thing. Keep yourself sharp, keep yourself on your toes, keep yourself in the game, keep yourself in front of people. It's a cold read audition which are always interesting. And, once again, the call backs are on a night I am supposed to go on a double date. Ain't that the way.
And the theatre is through a church. I have no problem with churches or people who go to them, I just don't want to be preached about converting or joining or any of that jazz. I'm not a religious person and it's not a religious play. I'm just not sure how it all sits with me. I don't know how comfortable I am in churches. I've never spent a lot of time in them and have only ever been to one church service.
I don't know how the whole thing is sitting with me. I ordered the play off Amazon and read it. I like it and there are two or three characters that could be fun to play. It's not like there is a lot of other theatre going on right now as the summer is starting to gear up, companies start gearing down. Mid summer I'll start working on the scripts for the fall theatre season.
It could be fun. I'm out of work right now and it's been a while since I've been on stage. And I may not even get cast. I'm a good actress but I'm not always right for the part. I'm a character actress and enjoy comedies. Drama is not my strong suit or what I really enjoy. These characters are funny and this play is a good one, though a bit dated. This theatre company looks like they do plays from the 50s, which this one is.
Auditioning is always a good thing. Keep yourself sharp, keep yourself on your toes, keep yourself in the game, keep yourself in front of people. It's a cold read audition which are always interesting. And, once again, the call backs are on a night I am supposed to go on a double date. Ain't that the way.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Assumptions & Inuendos
I have a huge rack.
Big McLarge Huge. All real, all me, thanks Mom & Dad, thanks God & nature.
I don't know what it is about having large breasts that makes strangers think they can make certain comments to me like, "You have huge boobs!" Or really, any kind of sexual inuendo. Maybe it's breasts of any kind that make people (men) talk about them. I don't know. Mine have been at least a D since I was 18 so I've been dealing with this for a while now.
And more than the comments it's the assumption and insinuation that because I have huge boobs I must be a slut, easy, get around, hook up with guys all the time. This is the utmost in falacies. In other words, WRONG. How does the size of my chest give anyone any kind of indication of my interaction with men? Yes, I may recieve a lot of typically unwated attention from men because of them that doesn't mean I am boning every dude that talks to me because of them. It's obsurd to think otherwise.
I am highly selective. Highly. I don't hook up with guys. I don't do one-night stands. I don't make out with random guys. If I'm touching you, consider yourself lucky. If I'm making out with you, consider yourself quite special. If I'm naked in bed with you consider yourself blessed. If I'm dating you? Son, you won the jackpot. Now I don't say that to be cocky. I don't think I'm better than anyone else, I simply know I'm rad. I am awesome. Everyone should think of themselves as awesome and a catch. I am one of those people. And I don't let just anyone touch me let alone see me sans clothes, let alone date me.
I also don't understand the connection between a large chest and the assumption that the owner is void of intellect. AKA DUMB. I mean, maybe I do, when you see so many women running around with huge, fake tits and they don't seem to have a lot going on upstairs. I didn't buy these, motherfucker, and don't insult me by asking if they're real upon first meeting me. I don't appreciate being pegged by a stereotype I don't resemble in the least. I know it's human nature I just wish that people would be less jackassy. It's insulting.
I also have this problem when I tell people I'm an actress. They say, "Oh" as if they already have me pegged. You don't. When I tell people I'm an actor they correct me: "You mean actress." Do you call a female doctor a doctorette? No. You don't. Once, when I got the "Oh" response from a man I told I was an actress, I went on to say I have a Bachelors Degree in Philosophy and he honestly said to me, "Oh, so you're smart?" Wow. Yeah. Thanks, assface. It's as if people stop listening to me after they hear the word "actress". They ignore anything else I may say or do. Again, stereotypes fall into play here. People must think "flaky, dramatic, stripper, bimbo" when they hear "actress". Funny, that's not what I think when I look at actresses like Kate Winslet, Kate Blanchet, Meryl Streep...
The ultimate combo of having huge boobs and being an actress is everyone thinks I do porn. At a bar in Santa Barbara one night I told an older man who was hitting on me that I was a movie extra. He said, "X rated movies?" First of all, when was the last time you saw an extra in a porn? Second of all NO! I DON'T DO PORN! Just because I have huge boobs doesn't mean I do porn! Jesus! I have a Bachelors Degree in theatre! I've been on stage for 20 years! I've done movies and extra work! I READ BOOKS!!!
I've had people tell me maybe I shouldn't tell people I'm an actress, or I should leave that out of online profiles and the like. I say bullshit. This is who I am and if people, or men, can't handle the fact that I like to act then they can walk on by. I'm not your typical actress, either. And if, in looking at my online profile or actually talking to me, someone's going to dismiss me and everything else about me because I'm an actress then screw 'em. I don't need 'em. I'm not stupid enough to confuse what I do with who I am.
Act, think, dream, live. Hoist those tatas high and keep shunning the nonbelievers.
Big McLarge Huge. All real, all me, thanks Mom & Dad, thanks God & nature.
I don't know what it is about having large breasts that makes strangers think they can make certain comments to me like, "You have huge boobs!" Or really, any kind of sexual inuendo. Maybe it's breasts of any kind that make people (men) talk about them. I don't know. Mine have been at least a D since I was 18 so I've been dealing with this for a while now.
And more than the comments it's the assumption and insinuation that because I have huge boobs I must be a slut, easy, get around, hook up with guys all the time. This is the utmost in falacies. In other words, WRONG. How does the size of my chest give anyone any kind of indication of my interaction with men? Yes, I may recieve a lot of typically unwated attention from men because of them that doesn't mean I am boning every dude that talks to me because of them. It's obsurd to think otherwise.
I am highly selective. Highly. I don't hook up with guys. I don't do one-night stands. I don't make out with random guys. If I'm touching you, consider yourself lucky. If I'm making out with you, consider yourself quite special. If I'm naked in bed with you consider yourself blessed. If I'm dating you? Son, you won the jackpot. Now I don't say that to be cocky. I don't think I'm better than anyone else, I simply know I'm rad. I am awesome. Everyone should think of themselves as awesome and a catch. I am one of those people. And I don't let just anyone touch me let alone see me sans clothes, let alone date me.
I also don't understand the connection between a large chest and the assumption that the owner is void of intellect. AKA DUMB. I mean, maybe I do, when you see so many women running around with huge, fake tits and they don't seem to have a lot going on upstairs. I didn't buy these, motherfucker, and don't insult me by asking if they're real upon first meeting me. I don't appreciate being pegged by a stereotype I don't resemble in the least. I know it's human nature I just wish that people would be less jackassy. It's insulting.
I also have this problem when I tell people I'm an actress. They say, "Oh" as if they already have me pegged. You don't. When I tell people I'm an actor they correct me: "You mean actress." Do you call a female doctor a doctorette? No. You don't. Once, when I got the "Oh" response from a man I told I was an actress, I went on to say I have a Bachelors Degree in Philosophy and he honestly said to me, "Oh, so you're smart?" Wow. Yeah. Thanks, assface. It's as if people stop listening to me after they hear the word "actress". They ignore anything else I may say or do. Again, stereotypes fall into play here. People must think "flaky, dramatic, stripper, bimbo" when they hear "actress". Funny, that's not what I think when I look at actresses like Kate Winslet, Kate Blanchet, Meryl Streep...
The ultimate combo of having huge boobs and being an actress is everyone thinks I do porn. At a bar in Santa Barbara one night I told an older man who was hitting on me that I was a movie extra. He said, "X rated movies?" First of all, when was the last time you saw an extra in a porn? Second of all NO! I DON'T DO PORN! Just because I have huge boobs doesn't mean I do porn! Jesus! I have a Bachelors Degree in theatre! I've been on stage for 20 years! I've done movies and extra work! I READ BOOKS!!!
I've had people tell me maybe I shouldn't tell people I'm an actress, or I should leave that out of online profiles and the like. I say bullshit. This is who I am and if people, or men, can't handle the fact that I like to act then they can walk on by. I'm not your typical actress, either. And if, in looking at my online profile or actually talking to me, someone's going to dismiss me and everything else about me because I'm an actress then screw 'em. I don't need 'em. I'm not stupid enough to confuse what I do with who I am.
Act, think, dream, live. Hoist those tatas high and keep shunning the nonbelievers.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Ms. Banana's Broke-Ass Fund
That's right people. I'm broke.
I was laid off a month ago and am trying to squeak by on unemployment while looking for work. I find there aren't a lot of job listings for "Philosophers". There are jobs for actors but they typically don't pay. Damn me for majoring in the two subjects I hold most dear.
The things I love to do don't pay a lot of cash-money unless you become spectacular at them. Art, acting, writing, things entertainment and creativity related. I'm working towards them but have not yet reached mad cash making levels. Nor does working at a bookstore pay a lot, though it was my favorite job.
I'm compiling my artly goods for sale on the interwebs, as well as starting a new kick-ass blog on being kick-ass poor, shortly. In the meantime I gots mad bills to pay every month: rent, car insurance, braces, credit cards, and I have to keep my personal health insurance going because of my sweet, sweet eye disease. That is a lot of cash-money there, friends.
I don't feed on caviar but I do have champagne dreams. And with your kind help I can make them a reality. If you have extra cash-money lying around and would like to help a fellow struggling human, feel free to donate to my worthy cause by clicking the handy button below. It never hurts to ask.
I was laid off a month ago and am trying to squeak by on unemployment while looking for work. I find there aren't a lot of job listings for "Philosophers". There are jobs for actors but they typically don't pay. Damn me for majoring in the two subjects I hold most dear.
The things I love to do don't pay a lot of cash-money unless you become spectacular at them. Art, acting, writing, things entertainment and creativity related. I'm working towards them but have not yet reached mad cash making levels. Nor does working at a bookstore pay a lot, though it was my favorite job.
I'm compiling my artly goods for sale on the interwebs, as well as starting a new kick-ass blog on being kick-ass poor, shortly. In the meantime I gots mad bills to pay every month: rent, car insurance, braces, credit cards, and I have to keep my personal health insurance going because of my sweet, sweet eye disease. That is a lot of cash-money there, friends.
I don't feed on caviar but I do have champagne dreams. And with your kind help I can make them a reality. If you have extra cash-money lying around and would like to help a fellow struggling human, feel free to donate to my worthy cause by clicking the handy button below. It never hurts to ask.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
So Damn Close
Hey Niki,
I just wanted to personally thank you for coming out and auditioning for
PHAEDRE. I thought you did a wonderful job and I asked around about
you and other directors had WONDERFUL things to say about you.
I just wanted to let you know that your availability was a huge factor in
my decision making, and although there were other considerations, I
was really impressed with your audition and look forward to seeing you
at future ones!
Thanks again,
Damon Dering
I feel so stupid. I am so kicking myself. Fucking stupid. I think it's fantastic that he took the time to personally email me and had such glowing things to say and I'm glad it wasn't my acting that stood in the way of me getting this part. I just never thought something like going to Vegas would be the deciding factor in whether or not I got cast. What I SHOULD have done was written "tentative plans" or "flexible". If it's not a wedding I'm IN or something like that it shouldn't stand in the way of being in a show. Where are my priorities? Do I want to do this seriously or not? This should come before anything else. If this was the kick in the ass I needed to finally really get my priorities straight then I surely have it now.
The other thing is this is a workshop production to prepare it for full production next season which starts this fall. I could audition and get in the full production, which would be bigger and better. My BFF Mitch was relieved I didn't get cast as he doesn't think me being topless on stage would be good for me. Eh. All the shows would be sold out, but it's not like it would be vulgar nudity, the part is the Greek Goddess of Love. C'mon. I think itwould have been very artistic and I would have learned a lot from the experience. Hopefully I still can. I'm just feeling really stupid right now. To lose out on a part because of something so dumb is frustrating. At least I don't suck. =)
I just wanted to personally thank you for coming out and auditioning for
PHAEDRE. I thought you did a wonderful job and I asked around about
you and other directors had WONDERFUL things to say about you.
I just wanted to let you know that your availability was a huge factor in
my decision making, and although there were other considerations, I
was really impressed with your audition and look forward to seeing you
at future ones!
Thanks again,
Damon Dering
I feel so stupid. I am so kicking myself. Fucking stupid. I think it's fantastic that he took the time to personally email me and had such glowing things to say and I'm glad it wasn't my acting that stood in the way of me getting this part. I just never thought something like going to Vegas would be the deciding factor in whether or not I got cast. What I SHOULD have done was written "tentative plans" or "flexible". If it's not a wedding I'm IN or something like that it shouldn't stand in the way of being in a show. Where are my priorities? Do I want to do this seriously or not? This should come before anything else. If this was the kick in the ass I needed to finally really get my priorities straight then I surely have it now.
The other thing is this is a workshop production to prepare it for full production next season which starts this fall. I could audition and get in the full production, which would be bigger and better. My BFF Mitch was relieved I didn't get cast as he doesn't think me being topless on stage would be good for me. Eh. All the shows would be sold out, but it's not like it would be vulgar nudity, the part is the Greek Goddess of Love. C'mon. I think itwould have been very artistic and I would have learned a lot from the experience. Hopefully I still can. I'm just feeling really stupid right now. To lose out on a part because of something so dumb is frustrating. At least I don't suck. =)
Friday, May 1, 2009
It's all Greek to me!
From February 25, 2009
I had an audition last night and I kicked the fucking shit out of it! It was great. Everything just came together.
Damon, the director of Nearly Naked Theatre, is writing an adaptation of this play called Phaedra. He has two versions he's trying to meld together: one is written in antiquated english and the other is in modern english. (But not Modern English) We auditioned with the antiquated english script which is written a lot like Shakespeare. It's about a Greek queen named Phaedra who is in love with her husband Theseus's son Hippolytus. The son is in love with a Greek princess names Aricia, who has been imprisioned by Theseus, and is the rightful heir to the throne of Athens. Theseus has been missing for 6 months and is presumed dead. That means Aricia is now free. Aricia has a best friend named Ismene who is her link to the outside world and tells her of the king's death and also that Hippolytus is in love with her. Aricia doesn't believer he because the prince seems to be violently against women but he confesses his love to her in the next scene. Thinking her husband is dead, Phaedra tells her step-son she's got the hots for him and he gets freaked out by it. And on and on. It's good stuff.
He sent out the sides in an email yesterday and I printed them out & read them over. I also was lucky enough to find the Cliff's Notes on the play online so I studied those as well. Knowing what the play is about helps alot in deciphering the sides and giving a better audition.
When I got there of course everyone else there knew each other and were hugging and talking and it really made me hate theatre people. It's fucking annoying all the insider shit. Of course I'm on the outside of it, so it's annoying, but I hope I'm not that annoying to other people. It really does alienate people.
There were 7 women and 2 men at this audition. I think there were auditions on Sunday, one of the women there had read before, and was pretty good. It was funny to watch the other auditions. He sent the 3 of us younger women outside to read over a scene together and we took turns reading the parts of Aricia and Ismene. This one girl was just NOT good. Right after she read for him he told her she could leave. Not a good sign for her. You're out. She was bad. So was this other older woman. The girl I read my scene with was a very tall, very thin, very pale, very blonde woman. It worked out very well though, as she really liked the part of Aricia and I really liked the part of Ismene, so that's what we read. I had to explain what the play and the scene was about to her but I had my shit down. It all came together for me in explaining the scene to her and what the characters were doing...I got that Ismene was excited about the news of the death of the king and Aricia's pending freedom and the news that the prince loved her, and Aricia didn't believe any of it. I also have a knack for the language it was written in and being able to get the idea across so the audience would get it.
Damon really liked what I did and asked me if I would be comfortable being topless on stage. The best friend part doubles as Aphrodite and the goddess would be topless. I said sure. It's not vulgar or lewd, it's a Aphrodite the Goddess of Love. I'm all about it.
He had the both of us women read two different scene with Aricia and Hippolytus, had us all stand back to back to each other to check our heights, and then we were done. I don't feel the part of Aricia as much as the part of Ismene but I could do it given time and rehearsal. Either way, I hope I get one of the parts.
The cool thing about this production is it's a workshop production. Damon is writing the script so the purpose of this is to prepare it for full production in their next season which will start in the fall. This production will be lightly produced which means essentially less money spent. There will only be 6 shows, and there will be a Q&A with the audience before and after each show to find out what they feel worked and what didn't, so we as a group can improve the script. It would be a really fantastic project to get involved in. It's really creating theatre. And Nearly Naked Theatre is one of THE theatres in town to work with. It would be incredible exposure for me as an actor as everyone who's anyone comes to see NNT shows.
He's got more auditions on Thursday and then he's going to make a decision so I hope I get in!
I had an audition last night and I kicked the fucking shit out of it! It was great. Everything just came together.
Damon, the director of Nearly Naked Theatre, is writing an adaptation of this play called Phaedra. He has two versions he's trying to meld together: one is written in antiquated english and the other is in modern english. (But not Modern English) We auditioned with the antiquated english script which is written a lot like Shakespeare. It's about a Greek queen named Phaedra who is in love with her husband Theseus's son Hippolytus. The son is in love with a Greek princess names Aricia, who has been imprisioned by Theseus, and is the rightful heir to the throne of Athens. Theseus has been missing for 6 months and is presumed dead. That means Aricia is now free. Aricia has a best friend named Ismene who is her link to the outside world and tells her of the king's death and also that Hippolytus is in love with her. Aricia doesn't believer he because the prince seems to be violently against women but he confesses his love to her in the next scene. Thinking her husband is dead, Phaedra tells her step-son she's got the hots for him and he gets freaked out by it. And on and on. It's good stuff.
He sent out the sides in an email yesterday and I printed them out & read them over. I also was lucky enough to find the Cliff's Notes on the play online so I studied those as well. Knowing what the play is about helps alot in deciphering the sides and giving a better audition.
When I got there of course everyone else there knew each other and were hugging and talking and it really made me hate theatre people. It's fucking annoying all the insider shit. Of course I'm on the outside of it, so it's annoying, but I hope I'm not that annoying to other people. It really does alienate people.
There were 7 women and 2 men at this audition. I think there were auditions on Sunday, one of the women there had read before, and was pretty good. It was funny to watch the other auditions. He sent the 3 of us younger women outside to read over a scene together and we took turns reading the parts of Aricia and Ismene. This one girl was just NOT good. Right after she read for him he told her she could leave. Not a good sign for her. You're out. She was bad. So was this other older woman. The girl I read my scene with was a very tall, very thin, very pale, very blonde woman. It worked out very well though, as she really liked the part of Aricia and I really liked the part of Ismene, so that's what we read. I had to explain what the play and the scene was about to her but I had my shit down. It all came together for me in explaining the scene to her and what the characters were doing...I got that Ismene was excited about the news of the death of the king and Aricia's pending freedom and the news that the prince loved her, and Aricia didn't believe any of it. I also have a knack for the language it was written in and being able to get the idea across so the audience would get it.
Damon really liked what I did and asked me if I would be comfortable being topless on stage. The best friend part doubles as Aphrodite and the goddess would be topless. I said sure. It's not vulgar or lewd, it's a Aphrodite the Goddess of Love. I'm all about it.
He had the both of us women read two different scene with Aricia and Hippolytus, had us all stand back to back to each other to check our heights, and then we were done. I don't feel the part of Aricia as much as the part of Ismene but I could do it given time and rehearsal. Either way, I hope I get one of the parts.
The cool thing about this production is it's a workshop production. Damon is writing the script so the purpose of this is to prepare it for full production in their next season which will start in the fall. This production will be lightly produced which means essentially less money spent. There will only be 6 shows, and there will be a Q&A with the audience before and after each show to find out what they feel worked and what didn't, so we as a group can improve the script. It would be a really fantastic project to get involved in. It's really creating theatre. And Nearly Naked Theatre is one of THE theatres in town to work with. It would be incredible exposure for me as an actor as everyone who's anyone comes to see NNT shows.
He's got more auditions on Thursday and then he's going to make a decision so I hope I get in!
Saint Valentine's Day Noir
From February 16, 2009
Valentine's Day was quite fantastic.
I took a trip to San Francisco for the book release party for San Fransico Noir 2: The Classics, a collection of noir short stories, one of which is penned by Mr. Craig Clevneger. Craig intended to spend the afternoon writing but we ended up talking for hours and then watching a really obscure and fantastic British TV show from the early 90s. Awesome. We went looking for food and ended up at this tiny cafe that serves crepes. I've never had a crepe with anything but Nutella, and only from a street vendor in Paris. I had no idea there was such a variety. I had one with smoked turkey, cheese and cranberries. Wow. So damn good.
We gussied up and walked down the couple of blocks to the Ha-Ra Club and it was packed. Tiny, but packed, with a jazz saxaphonist playing. The bartender was very W.C. Fields and a complete character. Craig had some friends there already and 3 of us ordered drinks and when the bartender brought them over he said, "I hope you all get the clap." Oh my God, we were rolling on the floor. He told another guy at the other end of the bar, "I'll get to you in a day or two." Priceless.
The evening started out a bit slow and there were times I felt like I was at a class lecture and the room was just silent. Craig seemed a bit nervous as he didn't warm up and prepare the way he usually does and he was worried that the audience was already comatose. I told him not to worry, his work was great and he has a great voice and is entertaining and egaging and he will be fabulous. The host started to introduce him and as he made his way to the mic one of the other authors, a tall bald former PI who has tea cup poodles and is a total riot, came right over and said to me, "You have excellent taste in men." Damn straight.
His reading was fantastic. The audience laughed and he made jokes and they were riveted. The story, The Numbers Game, is fucked up but in such a great way and very noir. Which is a good thing as it's a noir collection. His name is on the front cover next to Jack London and Mark Twain. Not bad company. Or Bad Company. At one point I yelled for some Free Bird. He recieved thunderous applause and yells and when the readings were over he made his rounds signing copies and shaking hands and meeting fans new and old. A little troupe of us walked back up the street to Route 101 and had cocktails and laughed and had delicious conversation. I felt like I knew these people for years the way we all just hit it off, and I recieved many demands to move to the city. Our glasses clinked on through the night.
(This reel missing)
In the morning we sat and talked and played with the kitties Ralph and George until one, and we meandered down the street to have lunch at Tommy's. So much food, so good, so cozy. Then Craig took me to City Lights Bookstore. OhmyGodOhmyGodohmyGod. Be still my Beating heart. Three floors. The kid behind the counter had been the kid behind the table selling the anthology the night before. We wandered the store and he picked up three copies of the anthology, one which was for me. We spent my last few hours next door at Vesuvio which was THE Beat bar, and had a very Tombstoney feel to me, and drank and talked and talked and talked as the rain poured down and into the window next to us on the second floor.
George - "had eyes the color of a gas flame and this unwavering, blinkless blue stare, like he could bend metal with his mind."
Ralph - "was a leaden stump of orange fur. I never saw Ralph move from his spot on Skinner's balcony, not once, but I never saw the same pile of feathers beside him either.
San Fran is one hell of a town. When I told my dad Craig lives in the Tenderloin he said, "Oh my GOD. How many guns does he own?" It's probably not the safest part of town, it's true. But it was bustling and full of creative people. It rained all day yesterday and kicking it at the airport was awesome. My flight was delayed almost 4 hours. I truly miss the pre-911 days when friends could see you all the way to the gate. We could have hung out for a few more hours. Thank God the plane showed up earlier than expected. I still got in at around 1:30 this morning. At least I'm more than half way through Steve Martin's autobiography now. Sky Mall catalouge. Bonus! I'm looking forward to another trip to the city.
Happy Valentine's Day to you, darlin'!
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