Closing Weekend

Phaedre at Nearly Naked Theatre closes this weekend. Only two more shows. It has been such a great experience. To work with a director/writer on the world permiere debute of his script, something he is so passionate about and has worked so hard on has been a priveledge. It's been exciting to watch the story grow and flesh out on stage.

The cast and crew has been wonderful. So much fun, so many laughs backstage and on the town. I'm really going to miss seeing them every week. Theatre is a strange thing. It's like a microcosim of life. We create this world, develope it, live in it, then put it to rest, all in a matter of months. We experience and entire life cycle and then line up to do it all over again. I think the Hindus were right about reincarnation except it's all happening right now in this lifetime. And I like it.

The Little Dog Laughed

I auditioned for this play Tuesday night, for Nearly Naked Theatre. It's written by Douglas Carter Beane, the cat who wrote To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar and is quite the wicked comedy. It's about a Hollywood actor named Mitchell who is gay and his agent who is trying to keep him in the closet. Mitchell is nailing this gay prostitute who is also sleeping with a woman. Hilarity ensues!

This was one of the rare occasions where I didn't get a chance to read the play beforehand. The director handed me a monologue and scene for the girlfriend part and I scurried off to a corner to look them over. I preformed the monologue first and got some great laughs. The director then asked me to pair up with one of the guys for the two person scene. Not everyone made it this far after their first performance.

We read over the scene a few times and then we were up. Now, this audition was set up where we were all in the room together at the same time. I hate these kinds of auditions. Normally I don't want to watch anyone else do the scene I'm about to do. This time, though, it worked to my advantage. I watched two couples do this scene and they were both different. So I took some cues from both of them and then added my own spin. I garnered some major rager laughs and felt so at ease and natural up there. It was also helpful to have all those other actors in the room as an audience to play off of.

I felt on top of the world when I left that audition. I felt I really nailed it, I made them laugh, I felt good about the choices I made, and that I made my audition quite memorable. It also helped that I didn't have much emotion invested in it. I found out about the audition two days before and could only get a hold of a synopsis and the first two pages. If I don't get cast of course I'll be bummed but I am really proud of the performance I gave at the audition and that makes it all worth it.

The director is waiting until next week to cast this show as their current show, RENT, closes this weekend and he's concentrating on that. There may or may not be callbacks, he hasn't decided. I'm ready for anything!

When you care enough to give the very best

From December 11, 2008

and it just isn't enough.

For six months I have been studying the one female part in this play I finally got to audition for. I had that shit down. Down. I've read the play over and over and had all the little nuances down. I wanted that part so bad. So bad. I knew that was a bad sign. You can't want the part that much, you only set yourself up for failure. You have to go in to an audition wanting to have the best audition possible. I rocked the audition. Then I got a callback. Awesome. I went in there and tore the stage up. I waited all day long for a call confirming and not an email denying. No calls and no emails. I checked my email around 12:45 last night and there it was. It was a very sweet email about how difficult the decision was and how much he enjoys watching me perform but it still said I didn't get the part.

I probably could have put in 2 weeks of work and gotten the same result. Jaren was right. It has nothing to do with hard work, it's luck and who you know. Unfortunately I know & have worked with this director before so there goes that theory.

I know it's nothing personal. I know he just found someone who better portrayed his vision of what this character should be and/or had better chemistry with the other lead. There was only one female part and after six hours of auditions he only called back five women. I'm glad I got called back but damn it, I wanted this fucking part.

I haven't been on stage in so long and I fantasized about getting this lead role with one of the best theatre companies in town, having all my friends come out, even getting my parents to come out for it, finally being back on stage in a great play, getting my name and face out there and it leading to other wonderful opportunities. God, I wanted that.

Most of the audition notices since I moved back here are for musicals. First, I'm not a singer. Second, I'm not in high school anymore. Then there are the plays or films that only need men or 45 & older women. Contrary to popular belief, I am none of those things.

I did the best I could do. I don't know what more I could have given. It's really hard when your best just isn't good enough. I'm just really pissed and really hurt I didn't get this part. The play was even written by my high school english teacher's big shot playwrite brother. Acting is about rejection and what I've learned is that it never gets easier. Sometimes it makes you wonder if you should shitcan the whole idea. God, I don't want to be average.

I've got the blues. The mean, lowdown, dirty, should-have-moved-to-LA, how-can-I-ride-Laurent-from-Twlight's-coattails blues.