Hey Niki,
I just wanted to personally thank you for coming out and auditioning for
PHAEDRE. I thought you did a wonderful job and I asked around about
you and other directors had WONDERFUL things to say about you.
I just wanted to let you know that your availability was a huge factor in
my decision making, and although there were other considerations, I
was really impressed with your audition and look forward to seeing you
at future ones!
Thanks again,
Damon Dering
I feel so stupid. I am so kicking myself. Fucking stupid. I think it's fantastic that he took the time to personally email me and had such glowing things to say and I'm glad it wasn't my acting that stood in the way of me getting this part. I just never thought something like going to Vegas would be the deciding factor in whether or not I got cast. What I SHOULD have done was written "tentative plans" or "flexible". If it's not a wedding I'm IN or something like that it shouldn't stand in the way of being in a show. Where are my priorities? Do I want to do this seriously or not? This should come before anything else. If this was the kick in the ass I needed to finally really get my priorities straight then I surely have it now.
The other thing is this is a workshop production to prepare it for full production next season which starts this fall. I could audition and get in the full production, which would be bigger and better. My BFF Mitch was relieved I didn't get cast as he doesn't think me being topless on stage would be good for me. Eh. All the shows would be sold out, but it's not like it would be vulgar nudity, the part is the Greek Goddess of Love. C'mon. I think itwould have been very artistic and I would have learned a lot from the experience. Hopefully I still can. I'm just feeling really stupid right now. To lose out on a part because of something so dumb is frustrating. At least I don't suck. =)
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Friday, May 1, 2009
It's all Greek to me!
From February 25, 2009
I had an audition last night and I kicked the fucking shit out of it! It was great. Everything just came together.
Damon, the director of Nearly Naked Theatre, is writing an adaptation of this play called Phaedra. He has two versions he's trying to meld together: one is written in antiquated english and the other is in modern english. (But not Modern English) We auditioned with the antiquated english script which is written a lot like Shakespeare. It's about a Greek queen named Phaedra who is in love with her husband Theseus's son Hippolytus. The son is in love with a Greek princess names Aricia, who has been imprisioned by Theseus, and is the rightful heir to the throne of Athens. Theseus has been missing for 6 months and is presumed dead. That means Aricia is now free. Aricia has a best friend named Ismene who is her link to the outside world and tells her of the king's death and also that Hippolytus is in love with her. Aricia doesn't believer he because the prince seems to be violently against women but he confesses his love to her in the next scene. Thinking her husband is dead, Phaedra tells her step-son she's got the hots for him and he gets freaked out by it. And on and on. It's good stuff.
He sent out the sides in an email yesterday and I printed them out & read them over. I also was lucky enough to find the Cliff's Notes on the play online so I studied those as well. Knowing what the play is about helps alot in deciphering the sides and giving a better audition.
When I got there of course everyone else there knew each other and were hugging and talking and it really made me hate theatre people. It's fucking annoying all the insider shit. Of course I'm on the outside of it, so it's annoying, but I hope I'm not that annoying to other people. It really does alienate people.
There were 7 women and 2 men at this audition. I think there were auditions on Sunday, one of the women there had read before, and was pretty good. It was funny to watch the other auditions. He sent the 3 of us younger women outside to read over a scene together and we took turns reading the parts of Aricia and Ismene. This one girl was just NOT good. Right after she read for him he told her she could leave. Not a good sign for her. You're out. She was bad. So was this other older woman. The girl I read my scene with was a very tall, very thin, very pale, very blonde woman. It worked out very well though, as she really liked the part of Aricia and I really liked the part of Ismene, so that's what we read. I had to explain what the play and the scene was about to her but I had my shit down. It all came together for me in explaining the scene to her and what the characters were doing...I got that Ismene was excited about the news of the death of the king and Aricia's pending freedom and the news that the prince loved her, and Aricia didn't believe any of it. I also have a knack for the language it was written in and being able to get the idea across so the audience would get it.
Damon really liked what I did and asked me if I would be comfortable being topless on stage. The best friend part doubles as Aphrodite and the goddess would be topless. I said sure. It's not vulgar or lewd, it's a Aphrodite the Goddess of Love. I'm all about it.
He had the both of us women read two different scene with Aricia and Hippolytus, had us all stand back to back to each other to check our heights, and then we were done. I don't feel the part of Aricia as much as the part of Ismene but I could do it given time and rehearsal. Either way, I hope I get one of the parts.
The cool thing about this production is it's a workshop production. Damon is writing the script so the purpose of this is to prepare it for full production in their next season which will start in the fall. This production will be lightly produced which means essentially less money spent. There will only be 6 shows, and there will be a Q&A with the audience before and after each show to find out what they feel worked and what didn't, so we as a group can improve the script. It would be a really fantastic project to get involved in. It's really creating theatre. And Nearly Naked Theatre is one of THE theatres in town to work with. It would be incredible exposure for me as an actor as everyone who's anyone comes to see NNT shows.
He's got more auditions on Thursday and then he's going to make a decision so I hope I get in!
I had an audition last night and I kicked the fucking shit out of it! It was great. Everything just came together.
Damon, the director of Nearly Naked Theatre, is writing an adaptation of this play called Phaedra. He has two versions he's trying to meld together: one is written in antiquated english and the other is in modern english. (But not Modern English) We auditioned with the antiquated english script which is written a lot like Shakespeare. It's about a Greek queen named Phaedra who is in love with her husband Theseus's son Hippolytus. The son is in love with a Greek princess names Aricia, who has been imprisioned by Theseus, and is the rightful heir to the throne of Athens. Theseus has been missing for 6 months and is presumed dead. That means Aricia is now free. Aricia has a best friend named Ismene who is her link to the outside world and tells her of the king's death and also that Hippolytus is in love with her. Aricia doesn't believer he because the prince seems to be violently against women but he confesses his love to her in the next scene. Thinking her husband is dead, Phaedra tells her step-son she's got the hots for him and he gets freaked out by it. And on and on. It's good stuff.
He sent out the sides in an email yesterday and I printed them out & read them over. I also was lucky enough to find the Cliff's Notes on the play online so I studied those as well. Knowing what the play is about helps alot in deciphering the sides and giving a better audition.
When I got there of course everyone else there knew each other and were hugging and talking and it really made me hate theatre people. It's fucking annoying all the insider shit. Of course I'm on the outside of it, so it's annoying, but I hope I'm not that annoying to other people. It really does alienate people.
There were 7 women and 2 men at this audition. I think there were auditions on Sunday, one of the women there had read before, and was pretty good. It was funny to watch the other auditions. He sent the 3 of us younger women outside to read over a scene together and we took turns reading the parts of Aricia and Ismene. This one girl was just NOT good. Right after she read for him he told her she could leave. Not a good sign for her. You're out. She was bad. So was this other older woman. The girl I read my scene with was a very tall, very thin, very pale, very blonde woman. It worked out very well though, as she really liked the part of Aricia and I really liked the part of Ismene, so that's what we read. I had to explain what the play and the scene was about to her but I had my shit down. It all came together for me in explaining the scene to her and what the characters were doing...I got that Ismene was excited about the news of the death of the king and Aricia's pending freedom and the news that the prince loved her, and Aricia didn't believe any of it. I also have a knack for the language it was written in and being able to get the idea across so the audience would get it.
Damon really liked what I did and asked me if I would be comfortable being topless on stage. The best friend part doubles as Aphrodite and the goddess would be topless. I said sure. It's not vulgar or lewd, it's a Aphrodite the Goddess of Love. I'm all about it.
He had the both of us women read two different scene with Aricia and Hippolytus, had us all stand back to back to each other to check our heights, and then we were done. I don't feel the part of Aricia as much as the part of Ismene but I could do it given time and rehearsal. Either way, I hope I get one of the parts.
The cool thing about this production is it's a workshop production. Damon is writing the script so the purpose of this is to prepare it for full production in their next season which will start in the fall. This production will be lightly produced which means essentially less money spent. There will only be 6 shows, and there will be a Q&A with the audience before and after each show to find out what they feel worked and what didn't, so we as a group can improve the script. It would be a really fantastic project to get involved in. It's really creating theatre. And Nearly Naked Theatre is one of THE theatres in town to work with. It would be incredible exposure for me as an actor as everyone who's anyone comes to see NNT shows.
He's got more auditions on Thursday and then he's going to make a decision so I hope I get in!
Saint Valentine's Day Noir
From February 16, 2009
Valentine's Day was quite fantastic.
I took a trip to San Francisco for the book release party for San Fransico Noir 2: The Classics, a collection of noir short stories, one of which is penned by Mr. Craig Clevneger. Craig intended to spend the afternoon writing but we ended up talking for hours and then watching a really obscure and fantastic British TV show from the early 90s. Awesome. We went looking for food and ended up at this tiny cafe that serves crepes. I've never had a crepe with anything but Nutella, and only from a street vendor in Paris. I had no idea there was such a variety. I had one with smoked turkey, cheese and cranberries. Wow. So damn good.
We gussied up and walked down the couple of blocks to the Ha-Ra Club and it was packed. Tiny, but packed, with a jazz saxaphonist playing. The bartender was very W.C. Fields and a complete character. Craig had some friends there already and 3 of us ordered drinks and when the bartender brought them over he said, "I hope you all get the clap." Oh my God, we were rolling on the floor. He told another guy at the other end of the bar, "I'll get to you in a day or two." Priceless.
The evening started out a bit slow and there were times I felt like I was at a class lecture and the room was just silent. Craig seemed a bit nervous as he didn't warm up and prepare the way he usually does and he was worried that the audience was already comatose. I told him not to worry, his work was great and he has a great voice and is entertaining and egaging and he will be fabulous. The host started to introduce him and as he made his way to the mic one of the other authors, a tall bald former PI who has tea cup poodles and is a total riot, came right over and said to me, "You have excellent taste in men." Damn straight.
His reading was fantastic. The audience laughed and he made jokes and they were riveted. The story, The Numbers Game, is fucked up but in such a great way and very noir. Which is a good thing as it's a noir collection. His name is on the front cover next to Jack London and Mark Twain. Not bad company. Or Bad Company. At one point I yelled for some Free Bird. He recieved thunderous applause and yells and when the readings were over he made his rounds signing copies and shaking hands and meeting fans new and old. A little troupe of us walked back up the street to Route 101 and had cocktails and laughed and had delicious conversation. I felt like I knew these people for years the way we all just hit it off, and I recieved many demands to move to the city. Our glasses clinked on through the night.
(This reel missing)
In the morning we sat and talked and played with the kitties Ralph and George until one, and we meandered down the street to have lunch at Tommy's. So much food, so good, so cozy. Then Craig took me to City Lights Bookstore. OhmyGodOhmyGodohmyGod. Be still my Beating heart. Three floors. The kid behind the counter had been the kid behind the table selling the anthology the night before. We wandered the store and he picked up three copies of the anthology, one which was for me. We spent my last few hours next door at Vesuvio which was THE Beat bar, and had a very Tombstoney feel to me, and drank and talked and talked and talked as the rain poured down and into the window next to us on the second floor.
George - "had eyes the color of a gas flame and this unwavering, blinkless blue stare, like he could bend metal with his mind."
Ralph - "was a leaden stump of orange fur. I never saw Ralph move from his spot on Skinner's balcony, not once, but I never saw the same pile of feathers beside him either.
San Fran is one hell of a town. When I told my dad Craig lives in the Tenderloin he said, "Oh my GOD. How many guns does he own?" It's probably not the safest part of town, it's true. But it was bustling and full of creative people. It rained all day yesterday and kicking it at the airport was awesome. My flight was delayed almost 4 hours. I truly miss the pre-911 days when friends could see you all the way to the gate. We could have hung out for a few more hours. Thank God the plane showed up earlier than expected. I still got in at around 1:30 this morning. At least I'm more than half way through Steve Martin's autobiography now. Sky Mall catalouge. Bonus! I'm looking forward to another trip to the city.
Happy Valentine's Day to you, darlin'!
Thursday, April 30, 2009
And this little piggy went weeeeee all the way home!
From January 27, 2009
Mother puss bucket.
I broke my pinky toe. How lame is that? I dropped the corner of a 28 pound plastic bucket of cat litter on my pinky toe. That's even more lame.
And you know what? It fucking hurts. I thought I was fine and had just hurt it but not anything as severe as broke it. Well I hobble corrected. The bonus of this kind of injury is there is nothing I can do about it. I taped it to it's neighbor and put ice on it. I have vicodin lying around that I can't take at work because it might make me slip into a dreamy heaven. That's it. That's all you can do. I've got my sweet gangster lean going on as I gimp around. This is bullshit. Pure bullshit.
I hope Jameson is happy he has clean litter to poo in.
Mother puss bucket.
I broke my pinky toe. How lame is that? I dropped the corner of a 28 pound plastic bucket of cat litter on my pinky toe. That's even more lame.
And you know what? It fucking hurts. I thought I was fine and had just hurt it but not anything as severe as broke it. Well I hobble corrected. The bonus of this kind of injury is there is nothing I can do about it. I taped it to it's neighbor and put ice on it. I have vicodin lying around that I can't take at work because it might make me slip into a dreamy heaven. That's it. That's all you can do. I've got my sweet gangster lean going on as I gimp around. This is bullshit. Pure bullshit.
I hope Jameson is happy he has clean litter to poo in.
When you care enough to give the very best
From December 11, 2008
and it just isn't enough.
For six months I have been studying the one female part in this play I finally got to audition for. I had that shit down. Down. I've read the play over and over and had all the little nuances down. I wanted that part so bad. So bad. I knew that was a bad sign. You can't want the part that much, you only set yourself up for failure. You have to go in to an audition wanting to have the best audition possible. I rocked the audition. Then I got a callback. Awesome. I went in there and tore the stage up. I waited all day long for a call confirming and not an email denying. No calls and no emails. I checked my email around 12:45 last night and there it was. It was a very sweet email about how difficult the decision was and how much he enjoys watching me perform but it still said I didn't get the part.
I probably could have put in 2 weeks of work and gotten the same result. Jaren was right. It has nothing to do with hard work, it's luck and who you know. Unfortunately I know & have worked with this director before so there goes that theory.
I know it's nothing personal. I know he just found someone who better portrayed his vision of what this character should be and/or had better chemistry with the other lead. There was only one female part and after six hours of auditions he only called back five women. I'm glad I got called back but damn it, I wanted this fucking part.
I haven't been on stage in so long and I fantasized about getting this lead role with one of the best theatre companies in town, having all my friends come out, even getting my parents to come out for it, finally being back on stage in a great play, getting my name and face out there and it leading to other wonderful opportunities. God, I wanted that.
Most of the audition notices since I moved back here are for musicals. First, I'm not a singer. Second, I'm not in high school anymore. Then there are the plays or films that only need men or 45 & older women. Contrary to popular belief, I am none of those things.
I did the best I could do. I don't know what more I could have given. It's really hard when your best just isn't good enough. I'm just really pissed and really hurt I didn't get this part. The play was even written by my high school english teacher's big shot playwrite brother. Acting is about rejection and what I've learned is that it never gets easier. Sometimes it makes you wonder if you should shitcan the whole idea. God, I don't want to be average.
I've got the blues. The mean, lowdown, dirty, should-have-moved-to-LA, how-can-I-ride-Laurent-from-Twlight's-coattails blues.
and it just isn't enough.
For six months I have been studying the one female part in this play I finally got to audition for. I had that shit down. Down. I've read the play over and over and had all the little nuances down. I wanted that part so bad. So bad. I knew that was a bad sign. You can't want the part that much, you only set yourself up for failure. You have to go in to an audition wanting to have the best audition possible. I rocked the audition. Then I got a callback. Awesome. I went in there and tore the stage up. I waited all day long for a call confirming and not an email denying. No calls and no emails. I checked my email around 12:45 last night and there it was. It was a very sweet email about how difficult the decision was and how much he enjoys watching me perform but it still said I didn't get the part.
I probably could have put in 2 weeks of work and gotten the same result. Jaren was right. It has nothing to do with hard work, it's luck and who you know. Unfortunately I know & have worked with this director before so there goes that theory.
I know it's nothing personal. I know he just found someone who better portrayed his vision of what this character should be and/or had better chemistry with the other lead. There was only one female part and after six hours of auditions he only called back five women. I'm glad I got called back but damn it, I wanted this fucking part.
I haven't been on stage in so long and I fantasized about getting this lead role with one of the best theatre companies in town, having all my friends come out, even getting my parents to come out for it, finally being back on stage in a great play, getting my name and face out there and it leading to other wonderful opportunities. God, I wanted that.
Most of the audition notices since I moved back here are for musicals. First, I'm not a singer. Second, I'm not in high school anymore. Then there are the plays or films that only need men or 45 & older women. Contrary to popular belief, I am none of those things.
I did the best I could do. I don't know what more I could have given. It's really hard when your best just isn't good enough. I'm just really pissed and really hurt I didn't get this part. The play was even written by my high school english teacher's big shot playwrite brother. Acting is about rejection and what I've learned is that it never gets easier. Sometimes it makes you wonder if you should shitcan the whole idea. God, I don't want to be average.
I've got the blues. The mean, lowdown, dirty, should-have-moved-to-LA, how-can-I-ride-Laurent-from-Twlight's-coattails blues.
The Young and The Nutless
From November 18, 2008I got my little Face fixed on Thursday. I still feel bad.
I know it's best for him but it was horrible to take him in and see him be so scared and shaking. And to top it off his carrier is pink. I'm a horrible mom. The doc said he was very handsome and in excellent health. Jameson played nice and never made a sound. After sticking a thermometer in his pooper the doc took him by the scruff of his neck and put him in the kennel to wait his turn under the knife.
I didn't even recognize him when I picked him up. They brought him out in his carrier and his eyes were so wide and his ears were set in a weird way and he just look drugged and terrified. I got him home and set him down on the floor and opened the door to his carrier. He hung out in there a while, his head bobbing and weaving, bumping into the sides, and eventually made his way out. He kept falling down and rolling over. He would sniff my hand but wouldn't let me pet him. He was sniffing around and trying to check things out and was making his way across the kitchen floor. I was following him and he had this terrified look in his eyes as he kept falling down and rolling over and desperately trying to get across the floor and away from me. It was heartbreaking.
He made his way into his poo box but couldn't figure out how to turn around in it. He stumbled like a lush all over the house, eventually getting the strength back in his back legs. I don't think he had any idea where he was or what was going on. Luckily though, this only lasted for about an hour and a half. Then it was as if he had never had surgery that morning. He was running around, playing on his scratchy, even picked up a toy and played with it. Ate some, and just wouldn't sit still, constantly roving and checking things out.
That night he sat in the kitchen and catterwhauled. This concerned me as he is not a meower. I had given him his pain medication in some milk earlier in the evening and he had crawled up on my chest and conked out like a lead weight. I got out of bed and picked him up out of the kitchen and put him on my bed and he ran right back in the kitchen to howl. His tiny little barbaric yawp.
He's much more mellow now and much more affectionate which is slightly frightening because he was already very lovey. The moment I sit down he runs over and jumps in my lap and rubs his head on my face. He's turned into much more of a person. He tries to have conversations with me. He dragged his leopard print string on a stick over to me, as he's want to do, and jumped up on the footstool with it and lait cross the cushion and looked at me. He then reached out his paw, touched my foot, and gave a small meow. Yes my little Face, I will play with you.
He understands No and he understands Treat. What he doesn't understand is Get Off the Counter! He curls up my my face at night and talks to me. He likes hang out in the bathroom while I take a shower, and sit on the sink to watch me put my makeup on. He is always at my heels. His nuts aren't completely gone and I'm sure they'll fill back out. I now understand what it's like for my parents to watch me go into surgery.
Jameson is doing swell now. Eating, playing, being adorable. And snoozing the day away.
I know it's best for him but it was horrible to take him in and see him be so scared and shaking. And to top it off his carrier is pink. I'm a horrible mom. The doc said he was very handsome and in excellent health. Jameson played nice and never made a sound. After sticking a thermometer in his pooper the doc took him by the scruff of his neck and put him in the kennel to wait his turn under the knife.
I didn't even recognize him when I picked him up. They brought him out in his carrier and his eyes were so wide and his ears were set in a weird way and he just look drugged and terrified. I got him home and set him down on the floor and opened the door to his carrier. He hung out in there a while, his head bobbing and weaving, bumping into the sides, and eventually made his way out. He kept falling down and rolling over. He would sniff my hand but wouldn't let me pet him. He was sniffing around and trying to check things out and was making his way across the kitchen floor. I was following him and he had this terrified look in his eyes as he kept falling down and rolling over and desperately trying to get across the floor and away from me. It was heartbreaking.
He made his way into his poo box but couldn't figure out how to turn around in it. He stumbled like a lush all over the house, eventually getting the strength back in his back legs. I don't think he had any idea where he was or what was going on. Luckily though, this only lasted for about an hour and a half. Then it was as if he had never had surgery that morning. He was running around, playing on his scratchy, even picked up a toy and played with it. Ate some, and just wouldn't sit still, constantly roving and checking things out.
That night he sat in the kitchen and catterwhauled. This concerned me as he is not a meower. I had given him his pain medication in some milk earlier in the evening and he had crawled up on my chest and conked out like a lead weight. I got out of bed and picked him up out of the kitchen and put him on my bed and he ran right back in the kitchen to howl. His tiny little barbaric yawp.
He's much more mellow now and much more affectionate which is slightly frightening because he was already very lovey. The moment I sit down he runs over and jumps in my lap and rubs his head on my face. He's turned into much more of a person. He tries to have conversations with me. He dragged his leopard print string on a stick over to me, as he's want to do, and jumped up on the footstool with it and lait cross the cushion and looked at me. He then reached out his paw, touched my foot, and gave a small meow. Yes my little Face, I will play with you.
He understands No and he understands Treat. What he doesn't understand is Get Off the Counter! He curls up my my face at night and talks to me. He likes hang out in the bathroom while I take a shower, and sit on the sink to watch me put my makeup on. He is always at my heels. His nuts aren't completely gone and I'm sure they'll fill back out. I now understand what it's like for my parents to watch me go into surgery.
Jameson is doing swell now. Eating, playing, being adorable. And snoozing the day away.
Brace Face
From October 15, 2008
I got braces put on my teeth on Monday afternoon. I'm basically a glutton for punishment. Can I blame the drugs? My ridiculous sense of being a Wonder Woman? My hard and fast independent streak? Or pure ignorance?
After all I've been through in the past 2 weeks I seriously sat down in that chair and had them cement brackets to my teeth. I started to panic when they put all that shit in my mouth that keeps your tongue and lips out of the way. It was almost like I felt claustrophobic, like I was in the MRI machine again. I almost said yeah, I can't do this. Laying back on the chair I forgot how to breathe. My tongue slid back against my throat and I forgot I had control over it. My tonsils were so fucking huge that there is a lot of extra room back there now. When I drink something it still feels like it wants to come out of my nose. I didn't think it would be this much adjustment, or any kind of adjustment, really. Live and learn.
So I fought through my paranoia and survived. It only took about an hour. I opted for the "clear" bracket braces. I saw a girl at a play recently and standing 5 feet from her I could hardly tell she had them, so I figure from stage it would be practically impossible. I was surprised when I went in for my consultation to learn that the Invisilign, which I originally wanted, was $1300 more than regular braces, would take longer and would less effective. So I opted for your old school braces and for the past two days I have been regretting it.
I broke down yesterday afternoon. I have just had way too much drama in my mouth-hole for the past two weeks and I hadn't cried since the first vommiting experience. It was all just too much. I probably should have waited a few weeks until I was more back to normal than to rush and get them on now, but I was thinking long term and the sooner I get them on the sooner I can get them off. I had been warned of the pain involved but I guess I didn't believe it. Last night my teeth were simply throbbing and, oddly enough, itching. I could feel the roots simply itching in my face. I've worn sores on my cheeks and I can't bite down all the way. When I did, my front teeth were hitting the brackets on my bottom teeth so they put this cement on the bottom of two of my molars, one on each side, to prevent that from happening. How I'm ever supposed to chew again is beyond me. I broke down and bought Anbesol last night and thank the fucking lord I did. Sweet, sweet numbness.
I'm on the liquid diet. Naked Juice protien drinks, Carnation Instant Breakfast, soups, baby food, humus, and the shit-ton if ice cream I have left over. I have only had water, Gatorade, and ice tea for the past 2 weeks. No soda and no alcohol. I'm hoping the lack of binge drinking will show up on the scale. The vicodin still running through my system has put a damper on my hunger, as well as the pain in my teeth. It seems to have subsided today, thank God. I was freaking out on Monday night thinking this was a horrible mistake and I never should have done it. I'm just tired of feeling jacked-up and in pain and uncomfortable and angry. I need a vacation from my illnesses.
I always wanted braces but they were something we couldn't afford. I was also afraid that boys wouldn't like me. So good idea Niki, wait until you're 30. I didn't have a boyfriend in high school, I should have just gotten it over with then. I've also never had that big of a problem with my teeth. It's not like I'm a snagglepuss... "Exit stage left even!" But I thought having straight teeth would be nice and I found a great deal and I should only have these for a little less than a year and a half. I just wonder if, when I'm done, I'll start looking skeptically at my nose. Eh, I doubt it.
And speaking of being single, feel free to set me up with awesome guys you may know. I'm a catch, damn it! I just don't get asked out. I don't know if I intimidate the shit out of guys or what the deal is but I'm rad and I would like an equally rad gentleman friend. Help a sista out, wouldya?!
We thank you for your support.
I got braces put on my teeth on Monday afternoon. I'm basically a glutton for punishment. Can I blame the drugs? My ridiculous sense of being a Wonder Woman? My hard and fast independent streak? Or pure ignorance?
After all I've been through in the past 2 weeks I seriously sat down in that chair and had them cement brackets to my teeth. I started to panic when they put all that shit in my mouth that keeps your tongue and lips out of the way. It was almost like I felt claustrophobic, like I was in the MRI machine again. I almost said yeah, I can't do this. Laying back on the chair I forgot how to breathe. My tongue slid back against my throat and I forgot I had control over it. My tonsils were so fucking huge that there is a lot of extra room back there now. When I drink something it still feels like it wants to come out of my nose. I didn't think it would be this much adjustment, or any kind of adjustment, really. Live and learn.
So I fought through my paranoia and survived. It only took about an hour. I opted for the "clear" bracket braces. I saw a girl at a play recently and standing 5 feet from her I could hardly tell she had them, so I figure from stage it would be practically impossible. I was surprised when I went in for my consultation to learn that the Invisilign, which I originally wanted, was $1300 more than regular braces, would take longer and would less effective. So I opted for your old school braces and for the past two days I have been regretting it.
I broke down yesterday afternoon. I have just had way too much drama in my mouth-hole for the past two weeks and I hadn't cried since the first vommiting experience. It was all just too much. I probably should have waited a few weeks until I was more back to normal than to rush and get them on now, but I was thinking long term and the sooner I get them on the sooner I can get them off. I had been warned of the pain involved but I guess I didn't believe it. Last night my teeth were simply throbbing and, oddly enough, itching. I could feel the roots simply itching in my face. I've worn sores on my cheeks and I can't bite down all the way. When I did, my front teeth were hitting the brackets on my bottom teeth so they put this cement on the bottom of two of my molars, one on each side, to prevent that from happening. How I'm ever supposed to chew again is beyond me. I broke down and bought Anbesol last night and thank the fucking lord I did. Sweet, sweet numbness.
I'm on the liquid diet. Naked Juice protien drinks, Carnation Instant Breakfast, soups, baby food, humus, and the shit-ton if ice cream I have left over. I have only had water, Gatorade, and ice tea for the past 2 weeks. No soda and no alcohol. I'm hoping the lack of binge drinking will show up on the scale. The vicodin still running through my system has put a damper on my hunger, as well as the pain in my teeth. It seems to have subsided today, thank God. I was freaking out on Monday night thinking this was a horrible mistake and I never should have done it. I'm just tired of feeling jacked-up and in pain and uncomfortable and angry. I need a vacation from my illnesses.
I always wanted braces but they were something we couldn't afford. I was also afraid that boys wouldn't like me. So good idea Niki, wait until you're 30. I didn't have a boyfriend in high school, I should have just gotten it over with then. I've also never had that big of a problem with my teeth. It's not like I'm a snagglepuss... "Exit stage left even!" But I thought having straight teeth would be nice and I found a great deal and I should only have these for a little less than a year and a half. I just wonder if, when I'm done, I'll start looking skeptically at my nose. Eh, I doubt it.
And speaking of being single, feel free to set me up with awesome guys you may know. I'm a catch, damn it! I just don't get asked out. I don't know if I intimidate the shit out of guys or what the deal is but I'm rad and I would like an equally rad gentleman friend. Help a sista out, wouldya?!
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